How I Take Care of Me
The last couple weeks took a lot of emotional energy out of me... my first lil baby started kindergarten the day before my birthday. My last lil baby decided to abruptly end our breastfeeding journey a matter of weeks earlier. While the former was obviously something I knew was coming and could therefore prepare for, the latter was one of those life changes that served as a reminder that life can surprise you on any day, and to “take it all in while you can.”
I've learned over the years that times of transition can really wear me out because I tend to hyper-think / analyze / process / ruminate on them. (Yes, I am absolutely a Highly Sensitive Person… I consider it more of a super power - especially as a doula! - than a quirk… but more on that another time). Suffice to say that postpartum was definitely a doozy of a life-changing transition for me.
So with that in mind, I’ll share some things here I've learned over the years that help a lot during these “transition times,” whatever they may be:
Not overbooking my calendar
get togethers, appointments, meetings, events... I keep at least a week around the transition as open as possible (as an introverted HSP, I don’t feel the FOMO as much as some may be susceptible to)
Taking time off work
if possible, this is the most helpful of all - it minimizes the “code-switching” by taking one identity realm completely off my plate for the time being, allowing more headspace & presence for myself & my fam
Not using social media
the additional mental breathing room this allows is crucial
Noticing the little fleeting things
my kid's smile when she's talking about something she loves, a firework's impactful impermanence, the humming cicadas… not only do they bring me little nibbles of joy, but they also seemingly slow time down for a minute by holding my attention in the here & now
Remembering it's also "just another Tuesday"
when my mind really starts to get hype, this helps bring me back to ground - even if it is a “big deal of a day,” it's also just another Tuesday on the calendar where the sun will come up and go down like it does every other day
Other things that work for me, personally:
Writing
my go-to for getting it all out, even when I think I have “nothing to write down”
Meditating
10-20 minutes, first thing in the A.M. (before the noise of the day begins) - this gives me better capacity (& practice) to be able to be present in the moments later in the day, and most of all to notice how I’m really feeling in my body throughout the day and what it feels like when I’m approaching the threshold of “too much”
Walking
one of the quickest, easiest ways to clear the metaphorical clutter and get a natural mood boost
You could really sum it all up in two words: slowing down.
It sounds so simple that it can be easily forgotten. I’ve certainly been guilty of the “Sure yeah, I’ll slow down after these couple things on my plate get wrapped up.” But before I know it I’m in overdrive; emotionally, mentally & physically and the overdrive hangover often takes a good week or two to wear off before I feel back on track as my usual self again.
Being aware that this is how I operate (and actually taking the necessary aforementioned actions!) has been life-giving. I do sometimes still worry that I will “fall behind” on work, or “miss something”—one of those tiny fleeting moments my sensitive mind has deemed important to crystallize (this is my FOMO), but I’ve been through enough at this point to know that I always wind up just fine on the other side. And usually, there are a few delightful surprises that evolve out of my slowing down that probably wouldn’t have had room to present themselves if I’d been grinding instead.
Like this blog post for instance. I thought about writing something related to the various aspects mentioned in this post numerous times but could never land on how to organize the thoughts in a cohesive format. I didn’t know I’d be writing this post until I just started making notes this morning about the past couple weeks and here it is: the elusive blog post that came out in a (hopefully?) cohesive format.
If you find that you often feel drained around big events or momentous occasions, try integrating some of these practices next time and see if they can help lighten your load a little. Working with your natural proclivities instead of doing what you think is expected of you by social/cultural influences can add a lot more energy and joy to your life, which we can certainly use during times of change!
